“It’s definitely messier taking a nuanced stance, but it’s also critically important to true belonging.” Brene Brown
I have spent a lot of my life, like many of us, search for the rule book. Just show me what to do to be happy, successful, loved and I’ll do it. Tell me exactly what to do and what not to do, and I’m good.
Let’s just categorise everything into back and white, shall we? Yes and no. Stop and go. That would be really exceptionally helpful.
Except it’s not real.
I love to bring clarity to clients, and to myself, to aid decision making and progress. But what I’ve discovered over the years is that sometimes the real clarity comes from holding two or more seemingly conflicting ideas. The nuanced position, while more complex and requiring more care and attention, is often more true.
You can be grateful for something and want it to change.
You can be totally over something and already missing it.
You can be totally fine about a situation and feel the disappointment.
You are your business and you’re not.
You can, as I have, both supported people immensely and let them down.
When we leap to a nice clean viewpoint, we can miss the complexity and detail of the situation. Which is what Brene Brown is saying in the quote above. To really show up fully, we have to accept the messy details of truth if we really want that buzzword of authenticity. If we want true connection and belonging and progress, we have to step up to the conflicting nuance of life.
I have a feeling that this is my work right now. I’m working on shining a light (my word for the year) on the darker things in order to understand them better.
And after four years of self-employment, mentoring clients, and providing content services, I’m working on blending the deep work of coaching and retreats WITH the practical application of accountability and planning. It’s not one or the other. It’s both.
It’s checklists and nudges and reminders, and it’s big conversations about what’s getting in the way. It’s deep, long-term work as well as quick wins and refreshes.
And I’m excited about it! I’m currently working on a new version of my monthly support course, which I’ll be calling Progress not Perfection, and it’s really the pinnacle of my unique blend of depth and practicality. The habits, structures and suggestions that help us to do the big work, the deep work, the truly satisfying work.
So what about you?
What are the nuances in your work, life, business that need a light shining on them?
What do you try to fit into a neat and tidy box, that really needs a few different shelves in order to thrive?
What if everything you feel, believe, create is true?
What if you don’t have to compromise and find a niche, when in reality everything is valid?
How could you embrace your own nuanced position this week?
It’s a little messy over here in Nuanceville. But you’re in good company. I promise.
Jenny x
Love this! Thank you